A Break But Not Broken

I don’t normally type straight into WordPress and click Publish. Perhaps I should?

Why am I telling you this? Well, recently I went on a new business drive. I still struggle to articulate exactly what it is I do, but I’ve been able to do so adequately, it seems, as for the past four weeks or so since the last post on this blog, I’ve been busy. Really busy. Turning work away busy. This is both good and bad.

So, what has not being able to have time to do anything other than work taught me?

I’ve learned that I should type directly into this text field on WordPress if I’m intent on saying something, otherwise I’m nothing more than a bunch of ragged half-thoughts. Actually, that’s not true; I’ve read a lot more and not felt the need to do more than leave it simmering in my head. I’ve also been tired. Long days leading workshops with clients, rushing about to several different parts of London in a week, taking phone calls, writing presentations and delivering them… I’ve barely had time for a decent coffee. And there is little sign of it letting up.

Earlier today, I spent some time looking at what I’ve been sending out into the social apps of this world. It’s not much. A handful of tweets, a few LinkedIn updates. Nothing more.

I’ve got a lot I want to say, but I don’t feel the urge to share it. I wonder if this is a sign of getting old(er), or malaise with the channels available. Since I ditched Facebook in 2010, Path a few months ago, and all those other niche channels, I’ve felt less of a need to do much more than post the odd link, have a brief conversation with someone on Twitter, or answer an InMail on LinkedIn (because it’s mostly about new projects). I toyed with the idea of writing more and setting myself the task of producing something each day, but having subscribed to Dan Hon’s excellent newsletter I’m not entirely sure I can even get close to spilling out stuff as thought-provoking as he does.

I’ve noticed others doing the same. People I’ve long had an affinity with. I’m sure they’re still in the Skype Bar (a long story for another day) that I also left some months back. I know they’re still on Path. I do miss them. Yet, I can’t quite bring myself to go back. I don’t know if they miss me. I don’t really wonder about it.

This isn’t about being melancholic. There is so much positivity happening for me. I think I’ve finally discovered what it is that I like to do, something I’m good at and I’m doing it. I’m unsure what the job title is, but that’s part of the reason I like it so much: it’s not a specific role, which is something I’ve always yearned for. I’ve also been talking to some people about something more permanent, but I can’t possibly talk about that right now. Please don’t ask.

What else? I’ve been out seeing people. Smart folk. And we’ve had good conversations. Things may happen.

And therein lies the crux of this rambling post: I’m not just talking or sharing, I’m doing. I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed it until I went back.

So, I’ve had a break from writing out my thoughts. Yet, I’m far from broken. In fact, quite the opposite.

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